Yes.  This is the Gallery of C.R.A.P. (Completely Ridiculous Awful Photography).  This is a gallery of humiliating failures.  I have great admiration for those folks who have the patience, tenacity, equipment, and skill to capture consistently great wildlife photographs–especially birds.   Shooting birds with a camera is usually an incredibly frustrating activity for me.  Birding = Fun.  Bird photography = Fail.  You don’t believe me?  ahahha.  Prepare yourself for the worst photography…EVER!  But why keep you waiting?  Here we go.

Let’s start with feeder birds.  That should be easy, right?  I went to The Wilderness Center near Wilmot, Ohio on March 2, 2011.  See?  It’s even recent.  Am I just starting out?  A newbie photographer?  No.  I have had my Panasonic Lumix FZ-10 since 2004.  Yes, and I have been shooting failed photography ever since.  There are big picture windows facing a pretty good feeder system.   What could possibly go wrong?

Bird feeders at The Wilderness Center, Wilmot, Ohio photo: Greg Miller

If you look closely, you’ll see a deer has come to the feeder to make sure I don’t get bird photos.  Did someone pay the deer?  Sigh.

A deer at the bird feeder photo: Greg Miller

Although this is not a horrible photograph (it’s not great either), it is certainly not a bird.  I am here at the bird feeders to try to photograph…ahem…birds.  Yes.  I am drumming my fingers.  Not so much patience here.

I decided I wanted to try to get some good shots of American Tree Sparrow.  It’s a small bird that only visits Ohio during the winter months.  There were lots of them coming in to the feeders after the deer left–and the squirrels.

Did you know Am. Tree Sparrows were so blue? photo: Greg Miller

Uh-oh.  This whole photo looks blue.  And dark.  And a little fuzzy.  Not to mention the background detracts from the intended star, the American Tree Sparrow.  Sigh.  Cool filter fail.  Slow shutter speed fail.  No problem.  I can fix that.

Ok. The cool filter is off. Now we have focus failure. photo: Greg Miller

See.  The photo is much brighter now–much better color.  I am using spot metering to capture my specific targets–the birds.  I don’t care as much about the background.  Here, I was able to get the center of the photo just above the head so that the camera tried to focus on–the background.  Fail.  And even the background is a little fuzzy.  My fingers might have been too heavy on the button.  Who knows?  I am even using a tripod. But the result is umm, not what I wanted.

Am. Tree Sparrow, more clear, not zoomed in so tightly photo: Greg Miller

This photo is at least sharper.  But by either squinting at the larger photo or looking at the smaller version of the photo above, is the bird really the center of attention?  It really mixes in well with the background.  And wait–the feeder.  Is someone holding their camera a little lopsided?  Yes.  Yes, he is holding the camera crooked.  The feeder looks like it is leaning to the right.  Besides, this still looks like a shot of the feeder with only a hint of the bird.  Sigh.

American Tree Sparrow close up photo: Greg Miller

This one turned out much better.  The photo is still a little soft, but the subject is in good lighting and is far more prominent as the star of the photograph.  I was even lucky enough to get a little light reflecting on its eye–something that makes a bird photo appear more “alive”.  It adds interest.

But that’s the Tree Sparrow story.  Here are some other failed shots from the day of feeder watching.  Some of them you cannot even tell what I was shooting.  Enjoy.